2 In Body Image/ Personal Growth/ Real Life

My Advice to Shorten the Pain

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I started this blog.

I’ve been thinking about how it’s adding value to the world and why I should continue with it. I wonder sometimes if anyone is actually reading it…

When I look back at 2017 when I began blogging, it was primarily started as a way to connect with other people like myself. To share things that bring me joy and to write about things that are important to me.

Because the thing is, I love writing. I know I might not be the best at it, and I’m sure Mike and my sister (who edit all of my work) will tell you that my grammar could use some work, but that’s ok. I feel like the more I write the better I get at it (or at least that’s how I feel haha).

Writing feels cathartic to me.

Sure I could journal my thoughts and keep them to myself, but then I’d miss the opportunity to potentially help someone else.

And if there is one thing I have learned about sharing and being vulnerable on the internet – it’s that we are ALL going through challenges and learning through hardships, just in different ways.

Blogging has taught me that my struggles are not unique, which has actually been quite freeing. To know that you are not alone gives you permission to keep fighting. Seeing others who have overcome your problems before you gives you hope that you can too.

Sometimes sharing can feel scary, but I’ve realized that’s mostly because we’re afraid of what other people will think.

I believe that the people your message is meant for will find you.

And those who don’t resonate with your message or judge you for it are free to scroll on past and continue with their day.

I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last few years of blogging. But the more I learn, the more I realize I have to learn. It’s an endless cycle of growth and evolution – but I wouldn’t have it any other way 😉

But this I do know:

I know that sharing what I’ve gone through or what I’m going through is helping others. I know that I’m creating a connection and hope for someone else.

And I hope that by continuing to share, my stories will help someone avoid or at least shorten the pain that I went through.

One example that comes up again and again is about the battle I had with my body. I wish having a healthy self-perception was more of a thing when I was growing up – like it is becoming now.

Had it been, I might not have wasted a decade or more of my life chasing something that would only leave me miserable.

I might not have wasted 10 years + obsessed with how I looked which robbed me of the joy of creating memories and I missed out on so many moments.

I might not have wasted my 20s focusing on food and exercise instead of focusing on all of the amazing opportunities around me.

I’m not saying that getting healthy isn’t a smart goal, I’m all about being healthy. But not at the cost of your mental and physical well-being.

When being “healthy” becomes more important than spending time with friends and family, going after certain opportunities or compromising your mental health, then you know you’ve gone too far.

Health is not determined by your physique; it encompasses all areas of life. And when one area becomes off-balance, the whole wheel of life becomes off-balance.

The point I am trying to make is that health and happiness have very little to do with how you look on the outside, and a lot more to do with how you feel on the inside.

I wish I had known this before I spent 1/3 of my life trying to shrink myself and change everything about my appearance.

And that is why I’m sharing it again now.

I want you to know that your health is not determined by a number or by a size. Your health is determined by how you feel.

What makes you feel good? What do you love doing? What things bring you joy? Who brings you joy? And not just in the moment, but long-term.

Do more of those things.

Life is too important to waste by trying to change yourself to fit someone else’s idea of health and success.

Ask yourself, who would you want to be like if appearances didn’t matter? How would your life change based on this answer? What things would you do differently? What kind of person would you become?

Life is so much more fulfilling when we move from external motivators to internal ones.

And yes it will be hard and will take lots of practice to do so.

But what’s the alternative?

You have a very special gift to offer this world so don’t try to cover it up or pretend to be someone you’re not. You’re only doing a disservice to yourself and the world by hiding who you really are.

My advice to shorten the pain is go give yourself permission to live fully and be uniquely you; you were put on this earth for a reason, embrace it!


You Might Also Like

  • Katherine Vankooten
    September 10, 2020 at 11:49 am

    Awesomely Jess, and I read each and every one of them with interest. Keep doing what you are doing. I’m sure you are an inspiration to a lot more people than you think.❤️

  • JessD
    September 10, 2020 at 3:19 pm

    Aww thank you Katherine <3